Tomorrow is the court date for my divorce. I haven't been able to focus today, because I'm all... idk, anxious. And I don't even know why. I'm pretty sure it's more for the social anxiety aspect of it more than anything. I have issues with going to new places (the court house), doing things I've never done before, not knowing exactly what is going to happen, standing up (and potentially talking) in front of people (the judge, etc). Ugh, I'm just... UGH.
I think it's just those aspects of it that have me all anxious not that actual FACT that I'm getting divorced. Although it is stressful, even if I know it's the right thing to do. Ugh, idk, I'm a mess. Over this, and other things too. Missing someone/something I shouldn't miss and not knowing wtf to do about it... Sigh.
Did I mention that not only is tomorrow my court date, but Friday is my birthday? I'll be 25. (
Woo, quarter-life crisis time!) My sister is going to take me to get my hair cut as a present. Any suggestions of what I should do? I used to have it short in the back (just to top of my neck) and long in the front (and inch or so past my chin). It's grown out a lot. The back is down to my shoulders and the front is even longer. No IDEA what I want. She just got her hair cut into a short fauxhawk, but that's not me, LOL.
Just got an email from my lawyer saying the court case for my divorce has been moved. It was supposed to be this Monday, the 18th, but apparently the new judge at the court "doesn't want" to do an uncontested divorce on a Monday. IDEK why, but now the lawyer wants to move it to the 21st where they can apparently "fit us in". And I'm annoyed. A) I had already asked for Monday off, so now I have to get my days off switched. And B) Thursday the 21st? Is the day before my 25th birthday. Fucking delightful. "Happy Birthday, have a divorce"!
I mean. It's not that I don't WANT to get divorced. It's just... who wants to do that on/right before their birthday? IDK. I'm tired and cranky.
EDIT: Must think positively.
A) No depressing Monday hanging over my weekend.
B) I don't have to get up CRAZY early on Monday.
C) More time to fill out these ridiculously stupid financial forms.
D) More reason to celebrate on Friday, I guess? Gotta see if my sister and I can go out for drinks or something.
E) Err... something else positive here.
Obviously it would be _kyri
. Because they're the best road trip partners I've ever had. :P Except instead of driving to Michigan, we'd roadtrip to Arizona and pick up Giles, then to Cali for willfully
and then maybe swing up into Canada to get Dani! And then have a massive GW pile up of awesome. :D
That's a lot of people though, we might need to rent a van.
Snagged from stringdancegirl
5 Famous People to Invite to Your Dream Dinner Party, Dead or Alive.
1. Lea Michele
2. Cory Monteith
3. Mark Salling
4. Dianna Agron
5. Matthew MorrisonThis is just obviously my Glee!party. We would spend the whole dinner singing.
5 Bands/Musicians I’ve been Listening to A Lot Lately.
1. Glee Cast
2. Ingrid Michaelson
3. Katy Perry
4. Maroon 5
5 Things I’m addicted to.
3. My 2 RPGs
4. Internet in general.
5. Mike's Hard Lemonade, lol.
5 Biggest Celebrity Crushes. (Currently
? These change!)
1. Justin Hartley
2. Cory Monteith
3. Chris Lowell
4. Lea Michele
5. Kristen BellI just realized these are all RP related... Oh and if I could add a sixth, it would be Eliza Dushku.
5 Songs I Can’t Stop Listening to at the Moment.
1. Papa Can You Hear Me - Glee Cast
2. The Only Exception - Glee Cast/Paramore
3. I Think I'm Ready - Katy Perry
4. One of Us - Glee Cast
5. Toxic - Glee Cast
5 Favorite T.V Shows.
3. Doctor Who
4. Veronica Mars (re-watching it!)
5 Your Dream Future: 1 Job/2 City/3 Car/4 Spouse/5 Pet.
1. A writer
2. I'm fine here, really... Maybe somewhere in GA.
3. A Hyundai, okay?
IDEK. A celeb. :P
5. My kitten Pepper!
5 Things that always cheer me up.
1. The Gossip Witch RPG
2. Uprising RPG
4. My friends (Kitty, Dani, Anna, Emmy!!! ♥)
5. Making icons!
Top 5 People I Want to Punch in the Face.
1. I don't
2. really have
3. anyone that
4. i want
5. to punch! :)
5 Favorite Actors/Actresses.
1. Cory Monteith
2. Matt Smith
3. Matthew Morrison
4. Vin Diesel
5. Jensen Ackles
1. Lea Michele
2. Eliza Dushku
3. Kristen Bell
4. Isla Fisher
5. Blake Lively
5 TV Shows You’ve Seen Every Episode of.
2. Gilmore Girls
3. Veronica Mars
4. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
5 Movies You Have Seen More Than Once.
1. The Santa Clause
2. The Princess Bride
3. The LOTR
4. Harry Potter
5. The Little Mermaid!
I do this thing... where I'm worried about something, so I spend the days leading up to whenever it's supposed to happen just WORRYING and WORRYING over it until I made myself sick. It got to the point today where I thought I was going to throw up... and then the thing I was waiting for (my ex going to talk to my landlord about moving out, I thought she was going to say she wanted ME out) happened... and it turned out I had nothing to worry about. Of course. So I spent my whole weekend feeling sick for nothing. I really hate when I do that. Although the feeling of that weight being lifted is nice.
In unrelated news, I had a really creepy dream last night. It was made even creepier, I think, by the fact that it was so short. In the dream I was laying in bed sleeping on my back with my eyes closed, and I felt someone crawl onto the bed and lay on my left side. I knew they were there (I even knew it was a man, somehow), but I couldn't open my eyes to look. I spent like a whole minute trying to force my eyes open, and when I finally did, I could see them right next to me, staring at me, but I couldn't turn my head and I couldn't open my mouth to scream. I kept trying and trying and only breathy sounds would come out. And then finally the person beside me shifted slightly and I opened my mouth and SCREAMED- And sat straight up in bed, wide awake. I'm not sure if I screamed out loud or not, but I do know that my heart was POUNDING and I kept checking the room/bed to make sure I was alone. Geez, that scared me!
- Music:Papa Can You Hear Me - Lea Michele (Glee)
In less depressing journal entries, something that managed to cheer me up. These are actual children’s answers to the question “what is love?”
“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” - Billy, age 4
“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” - Terri, age 4
“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” - Bobby, age 7
“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” - Jessica, age 8
Those are my favorites, but the rest are HERE
! Gotta love kids. <3
When you read this, you're tagged. Take a picture of you in your current state, no changing your clothes or quickly putting on makeup. NO PHOTOSHOP. Show your flist the real you!( cut to shield your eyes...Collapse )
Um, I don't really have anything to say today. Yesterday sucked, today is kind of meh, but there's Glee tonight which is looking up.
Oh. Something interesting did happen yesterday. My sister calls me and this amusing/awkward conversation ensued:Me
: Hey so do you like chubby guys?Me
: .... what???Jess
: Do you like chubby guys?Me
: Um, yes?Jess
: What about Hispanic guys?Me
: Er, sometimes?Jess
: Oh great, then I have this guy you HAVE TO MEET. *insert spiel about how funny and awesome and great this guy is* So do you want to meet him?Me
: *blush blush blush* Um... ok.
Apparently, he's 33 (which is 8 years older than me, but hey), really funny, and likes bigger girls. This whole thing came about because he asked Jess is she had a sister, and she was all "actually yeah, I do!" So... apparently sometime in the next couple weeks I 'have to meet him!'. LOL. We'll see.